I first became exposed to the Art of Coaching through my trips to the Sport and Speed Institute. Through watching Justin Kavanaugh work with his athletes and staff, I learned there was more to coaching than just the application of exercise science. This is where I learned to think “outside the box” and that there are no absolutes in training.
When I came down for Brett Bartholomew’s Conscious Coaching seminar, I was now able to hear about the science behind the art. Bartholomew, who recently released his book Conscious Coaching, gave an all-day seminar that thoroughly explained the psychology of coaching and the right way to communicate with your athletes. You can have the perfect training program, but if you can’t properly convey your message to your athletes, it won’t matter.
Through reading the book and hearing him speak, Brett presented the information in a unique way. As a writer, I was surprised that this was his first book because he didn’t put this together like a coach, even though that’s who the information is targeted for. That doesn’t take away from the book’s purpose either, it enhances it. He wrote this with a writer’s touch that made it such an easy, leisurely read. Instead of spitting out a bunch of jargon or vague reasonings, he used a combination of science, history and experience, which made research the authority behind his points. Like his book, Brett went in-depth in his presentations on how you can maximize the qualities you have as a coach and develop your weaknesses to help you reach the wide range of athletes you will encounter.
This subject matter was different from any other seminar I’ve been to, and just one of the reasons this event was unique. Seminar isn’t even the right word to describe this event. To me, it felt more like a consultation. Since attendance was limited, this event had a personal feel to it. We were able to ask questions during the presentations, which made it feel like a group discussion. Brett also gave each individual there an ample amount of his time and answered any question in detail.
He even presented to us in the way a Conscious Coach would. In reality, it’s not a topic that should sound that interesting and more than six hours on how to build trust sounds boring on the surface. But, time was never an issue because of how he made the material relatable and through his ability to shift gears during his talks. Throughout the day, Brett was able to turn the dial on his own personality and give us different views of himself. He got scientific when he needed to, showed his knowledge of historical leaders and their philosophies, mixed in some pop culture and current events references at the right time and even showed a pretty spot-on George Carlin impression.
Above all else, Brett made you think. I didn’t realize how much went into building trust with your athletes. To be a Conscious Coach, you need to question why things are done to get to the root of the issue and undergo a real self-reflection to find your strengths and weaknesses. What I came away with was a combination of practical information and things I need to look into myself more about if I truly want to reach the level of coaching that I aspire to. As a young coach, I learned how to adjust my personality for a wide range of personalities, whether I’m dealing with kids or high-paid athletes. I came away with a ton of useful information and below I go into my 10 biggest takeaways from the day.
1-TRAINING IS LIKE A ROAD MAP
There are many ways for you to reach a destination. It all depends on your level of experience and comfort that will determine the route you take. Similar to training, there isn’t one answer to what’s the best method to use with your athletes. This will become apparent the more you learn about training. The only constants will be smart programming and interacting with people. The goal of coaching isn’t to become a master, the goal is to become conscious.
2-CREATE AN ACTIVATOR
There’s a difference between motivation and drive. Motivation is temporary, while drives are what originates in the brain’s core. Purpose is a powerful performance enhancer. Brett used Nebraska football during the 80s and 90s to illustrate this point. Players were proud to say they played for Nebraska because they cultivated an identity that they played for the state and the blue-collared people that worked there. They only ran five plays in Tom Osborne’s option offense, but they ran them so well that the opposition couldn’t stop it, even if they knew what was coming. All decisions are influenced by drive. You have to find what will spark an athlete’s desire, which will fuel their beliefs and ignite action.
3-FAMILIARIZE YOURSELF WITH THE ATHLETE
One of the best ways to find out how to effectively reach your athlete is to see what’s he’s responded to in the past. A simple way to do that is to ask him. Brett would give his athletes a sheet with some questions on other coaches they’ve worked with. This doesn’t have to be an extensive paper. It just needs to have a few questions on what they’ve liked and didn’t like about working with others and their thoughts on their experiences with you. This can give you valuable insight on what’s the best approach to take with how you talk to them. This was also one of those things where it was so ridiculously simple that I was wondering why I didn’t think of it.
4-BE LIKE BEN FRANKLIN
One of the five key variables that shape and influence behavior is communication and Brett gave the example of Ben Franklin. America needed money from France during the Revolutionary War and sent Franklin as an ambassador to see if he could get their help. The French were known for their late-night partying at the time and Ben, himself, was no stranger to having a good time. Ben built relationships and ingratiated himself to the French higher-ups by joining them for some late-night drinking and other excursions. Those in America hadn’t heard from him in a while and weren’t too happy to hear that he was spending this important trip by drinking each night away. However, when it was all done, he was a huge hit with the people he needed to influence and came back home with the money America needed.
The moral of the story is to elicit behavior change, you need to build off of common traits. You need to work with what you have in common with your athletes at first and not go in looking to set the stage on fire and take over. Ben was versatile and socially aware. Ben was socially aware of the situation and, instead of going into France gung-ho asking for money, he found out how he could go about building trust. People are not going to share information with us unless we do the same. We have to be relatable to our athletes and provide more than just surface-level interactions. Athletes are vulnerable and we can’t just show one version of ourselves to them.
5-SIMPLIFY YOUR VIEW
Brett showed a convoluted parking sign he encountered in Los Angeles where it was impossible to tell where you should park your car. There were four-to-six signs on this one post. Half of the signs told you to park on one side of the road and not the other and the other half completely contradicted them. I’ve encountered this when reading about training. One person will give you an exercise or method that they claim is the best, while another person will tell you those are the worst possible things you could do in the weight room. I’m always left not sure what way to go.
Training is most effective when it’s simple. He provided his simple views on training and said it’s all about how everything plays out. Your program should read like a story and it doesn’t need to be a complicated one. It should include a protagonist and antagonist, alternate endings, move from general to specific and have progressions. Giving your athletes repeated exposure to the fundamentals and they will develop a more robust network to build upon.
6-SWIM IN THE BLUE OCEAN, NOT THE RED OCEAN
In the red ocean, you’re competing in an existing market, trying to beat the competition and exploiting an existing demand. On the other hand, you’re in an uncontested market, making the competition irrelevant and capturing a new demand in the blue ocean. In the blue ocean, you’re a voice and not an echo. You want to find a useful identity and, to do that, you need to experience what you want to expose others to. You want to find your “conscience avenue for coaching”, whether that’s as a craftsman, a coach or an entrepreneur.
7-HUMAN NATURE MEETS “ART OF COACHING”
There’s a huge human aspect to the art of coaching through areas such as competition, environment, language, influence and presence. We need to create competition and obstacles in our training for our athletes. We have to have them “taste their own blood” and expose them to failure, so they will be unafraid to fail in order to succeed. Creating the right culture at your facility enhances effort and will improve athlete engagement and results. Influence can have negative connotations, but influence and how you talk to your athletes are so critical. It’s all about engagement. If you can keep them engaged and focused, you’ll get them going in the right direction. Even perfect programming can be done poorly. If you don’t have a presence and a purpose, you’ll be flat. You need to be yourself and always be authentic, never trying to be someone else.
8-EXPERIENCE TRUMPS EXPOSURE
Brett used an analogy of a tollbooth and traffic to make this point. There was a phone booth on the side of a street where cars were driving by so fast that all you could see was blurred images of them. Someone who stands in that phone booth everyday might think they can navigate that street because they watch it from afar. But, it’s completely different when you are the one behind the wheel. The only way for you to truly know what it’s like to drive in that frenetic area is if you’ve done it yourself. There’s so many factors you need to account for that you’d only know if you’ve actually done it. It’s the difference between a coach and an armchair quarterback. It’s easy to say what the coach should have done from a comfortable distance. It’s not so easy to make that decision in the heat of the moment.
This isn’t to say exposure isn’t important. By observing and studying, you are subjecting yourself to influential experiences. But, you need to supplement that exposure with experience where you are a direct participant in the outcome.
9-”BRIGHT” TRAITS CAN BE DARK
You can have too much of a good thing. Good traits like conscientiousness, extroversion, charisma and intelligence can be bad if used incorrectly. We all want to be more intelligent and on the surface it’s hard to make an argument against it. But, when we need to make a quick decision, it can work against us by making us overanalyze a situation and hesitant. Charisma is another thing we would all like to be. While it inspires confidence, it can also be used the wrong way and have a manipulative and exploitative side. This isn’t meant to put down those traits because they’re all things we aspire to possess as leaders. It’s all about context.
10-EMBRACE THE DARK SIDE
The same holds true on the opposite side of the spectrum. The traits that make up the Dark Triad – narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism – have bad connotations to them, but, when used correctly, can be extremely effective in your coaching. Brett compares it to sliders on a mixing board. If you turn all of the dials all the way up, the music will sound terrible. But, when you push each one to the proper setting, you’ll get the right sound to move a crowd. You need to observe, apply and adapt. It’s all context dependent.
This ties into my own experience of witnessing the art of coaching because I’ve heard Coach Kav get described as things that closely resemble the Dark Triad. He won’t deny that he’s narcissistic, and while the dark side of that is arrogance, the bright side of it is egotism, self-esteem and being self-sufficient. Everything he programs for his athletes he’s 100% sure is going to work and deliver the best results. You want a coach who fully believes in what he’s doing and doesn’t waiver.
I’ve definitely seen the bright traits of psychopathy in Coach Kav. We all know the obvious dark side of psychopathy, but, on the bright side, it’s someone who’s steadfast and highly observational. He’s a straight shooter and is going to tell you what you need to know to get better, whether it’s as an athlete or a coach that’s consulting, without worrying about hurting your feelings. Out of all the traits, this is the biggest one I’ve picked up on from Coach Kav and it’s allowed me to coach with a clearer conscience. Like Brett said, “the best coaches can show athletes a mirror.”
And, while Machiavellianism has a dark tone to it, I’ve seen the positive side of it through watching Coach Kav. I’ve seen how he’s motivated to lead, is a diverse leader and has flexibility. Even though he has narcissistic traits, he’s flexible and gives freedom to his coaches to learn and develop. He may not agree with everything you say, but he’ll give you a chance to voice your opinion and defend it.
This final presentation on the “Upside to your Dark Side” was a real eye-opener and the perfect way to end the day. It brought light to a dark area and opened my mind to what it truly takes to be a Conscious Coach.